Last updated: September 28, 2020
Some people seem to think that asking employees to refrain from drug use is an outrageous concept. That it’s crazy for an employer to want to provide a safe and productive workplace.
Let’s make sure we are all on the same page here.
You’re saying that you don’t have a problem with drugs. You just see no valid reason to refrain from their use long enough to pass a drug test for employment.
Well, that’s an “I need to take a moment to push up on my chin with my forefinger to close my gaping mouth while I try to comprehend what was just said” moment if ever there was one.
Moreover, you know that the word addiction almost always falls on deaf ears until a person hits their rock bottom so arguing the statement is pointless.
Sadly, the odds are growing that you know someone of the mindset expressed above, don’t you? They don’t think abstinence from drugs should be an option that pertains to them. Ever.
They, instead, choose to search for a quick fix method to “pass” a drug test.
Best taken with a grain of salt
There are many methods of madness out there that are supposed to beat a positive drug test result. In reality, none are very reliable in accomplishing their goal.
If someone you know is thinking about trying them, warn them to take their worth with that proverbial grain of salt. If explaining this to the drug user is as effective as talking to a brick in the wall, sometimes you just have to let them live and learn.
Drink lots of water
This method doesn’t remove any drug metabolites from the user’s system. It can, however, keep the bladder from doing its job at all. If the specimen provided is primarily water, the test will yield a negative dilute drug test result.
It poses a problem in the end if your company doesn’t retest for inconclusive results. Some don’t.
Detox products to flush the system
It doesn’t matter what method of drug test an employer uses; there’s a detox product for it on the market. There are shampoos for the hair follicle test, mouthwashes for the mouth swab test, and detox drinks in various flavors to enable drug users to “pass” the urine test. These products proclaim to yield negative test results for predetermined amounts of time.
So, if a product claims to detoxify your body, but only for a specific window of time, they are not detoxifying at all. This false claim is cause for doubt regarding anything that company says.
Don’t trust the product if you can’t believe the maker. They are attempting to grab your hard earned and perhaps limited supply of money.
But, wait a minute, the same could be said of the test taker, right? They are attempting to keep grabbing their employer’s hard earned money deceptively.
Secondhand smoke screen
Proclaiming one tested positive for marijuana is not even an option that they should try. People that are around others who smoke, but do not consume themselves are not testing positive. They can not inhale enough of the smoke from the surrounding air to have that effect.
If someone insists otherwise, a red flag will certainly fly overhead waving wildly for employers to see.
Poppy seeds pop positive
There is some truth to this statement.
However, most employers that drug test took the advice of the Department of Health and Human Services and updated their testing levels in the late 1990s. The old concentration of 300 ng/mL (nanograms per milliliter) can produce a positive test result after eating a poppy seed bagel or even a good dousing of dressing, but the new concentration level of 2,000 ng/mL will not produce a positive result.
If a test pops positive and the test taker cries poppy seeds, a quick check of the panel levels will tell if they are trying to pull a fast one of their own accord.
Some say drinking cranberry juice, pickle juice, or vinegar will cause a false negative on a urine test. It doesn’t. However, it can mess with the pH levels in the urine, and this denotes that someone tampered with the specimen.
Also, if you drink enough vinegar to get the pH level off, you will probably experience bouts of explosive diarrhea until it has passed through the system.
Good luck with that.
It’s getting pretty hairy
Cleansing the hair before a hair follicle test doesn’t do any good. The metabolites grow out of the follicle directly into the center of the hair. There is no way to mask them.
These ideas are a bust.
- Draw a bucket of water and let it sit overnight. Add a generous amount of lemon juice to it and wash your hair.
- Combine dried rosemary leaves with grapeseed oil. Heat the mixture on low for three hours, leave to cool overnight and then apply to the hair. It is unclear if this is supposed to mask metabolites or rid the hair of them.
- Rinse hair with vinegar, salicylic acid and, lastly, detergent to pass the hair follicle drug test.
- Bicarbonate of soda is a popular choice for producing fake negative results on hair tests. The recipes often include mixing baking soda with apple cider vinegar and applying it to the hair to soak. Another recipe calls for adding a cup of sea salt to the vinegar mix.
Nice and shiny
The only idea we have seen that would prevent someone from failing a hair drug test is to shave. It would certainly keep the test subject from submitting to the test, but it would also look more than a little bit suspicious if someone showed up with a clean-shaven body on the day of the test.
Desperate times provoke desperate measures?
Some methods can only get categorized as insane.
Are you ready?
- Use dog urine in place of your own. Trust me. They will know the difference.
- Steal your specimen from the laboratory or testing site. The theory here is that the laboratory would never admit to having a sample stolen and will report the result as negative rather than admit what has happened. What?!
- Wash your mouth out or gargle with bleach to beat a mouth swab test. Can you even comprehend ignorance to that degree? Your horrified expression mirrors mine here, doesn’t it?
You know what they say about the best defense
An estimated 77% of the drug users in our country are employed full or part-time. That equals 9.4 million people in the workforce that are using drugs. Educating employees about the dangers of drugs is a great offense.
Rather than needing to fake a test to keep a job, employees should think about giving the real deal a try. A drug-free lifestyle is the most productive and rewarding way to live both at work and play.
Go on. Give it a try. If you find it is not as easy to go without as you have always told yourself it would be, talk to someone, even someone at work. You will probably find that those you were willing to work so hard to fool will work harder to see you get help.