Last updated: November 27, 2023
Ever since drug abuse gained enough attention in the workplace to warrant employee drug testing, people who abuse drugs have tried to cheat the test. Back in the day, drinking a lot of water let some drug abusers slip by undetected. Today, however, continued breakthroughs in drug testing technology have made it harder and harder for cheaters to fake the test. It’s not for lack of trying though. Drug detox drinks, marathon bouts of exercise, fasting, sweating it out in the sauna… the list could go on.
We’re not continuing it though. Instead, we’re throwing out a quick spoiler alert for the drug abusers. Ready to know what it is?
If you want to pass a drug test, don’t do drugs.
We need to bust their bubble
Drug abuse starts out as a recreational activity or is used as a coping mechanism for many that quickly gets out of hand.
Some drugs—such as methamphetamines, oxycontin, and, unfortunately, fentanyl, for instance—are highly addictive. The brain quickly builds up a tolerance to them and when it doesn’t recognize the substance in the system, it begins to look for it. Before long, it’s sending out distress signals—we know them as withdrawal symptoms—that can become so severe, addicts are scrambling to find their next fix to relieve them.
Help us spread the word, will you?
Education is one of the best ways to battle the scourge that drug abuse has become in our nation. When people are educated, it allows them to make informed decisions. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to become a drug addict.
Drug tests and detox drinks
It’s long been passed along the “how do I beat a drug test” grapevine that certain homemade concoctions will either mask or rid the body of drug metabolites. It’s amazing the lengths that some will go to when feeling pressed into a corner.
Think we’re kidding?
Perusing the results of a “homemade drug test remedy” search can be pretty entertaining—or horrifying depending on how you look at it. Actually, the Master Cleanse doesn’t appear to be too horrible. Ultimately, though that depends on the amount of cayenne pepper the recipe calls for.
It’s said that drinking certain beverages will speed up the body’s metabolism. They include drinks such as iced tea, grape juice, coffee, apple cider vinegar, and even Pepsi. They’re natural diuretics and cause frequent urination. The recommended prescription is to drink one gallon or more of any of the above-listed drinks to clean out your system.
Drinking a gallon or more of anything is sure to increase the frequency of urination. However, it’s not going to rid your body of drug metabolites any faster.
Move over home remedies
The detox drink industry has exploded in recent years. They’re sold online, of course, and in brick-and-mortar stores everywhere. Head shops carry them, and so do health stores—advertised as “supplements” rather than detox products, of course. Flashy packaging and sly slogans help push the merchandise to an eager element of the population.
People tend to get desperate when their job is on the line.
They should have saved their money—some detox drinks can sell for as much as $100 a bottle! They’d have a little more in their pocket when they get busted with a positive drug test result.
Manufactured detox drinks don’t work any better than homemade recipes. Neither does gargling bleach trying to cheat a mouth swab test! Unless, of course, the game plan is to get out of the test because they’ve been rushed to the emergency room. Bleach is not to be ingested… that includes banning it from your mouth.
Good heavens, people!
They sure don’t come with a guarantee
In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
Every detox product that we have laid eyes on has a disclaimer somewhere in really small print putting the blame somewhere else should the product not work correctly. For instance, if the detox drink is a mix and you merely add water to it, the measurement must be specific down to the very last drop apparently. Failure to mix the ingredients exactly as specified may result in—
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yada, yada, yada.
They leave themselves a way out because they know they can’t stand behind their products. Manufactured drug detox drinks don’t work any better than homemade ones do. And, oh by the way, neither does stuffing yourself with fatty foods on the way to the test site so all the THC metabolites grab onto that fat instead of hanging around in your mouth during the mouth swab test.
The only way to beat a drug test is to stay sober. If you suspect an employee is suffering from drug addiction, first and foremost, document your suspicions. Then, share those suspicions with your employee. They may confess immediately. If that’s the case, we hope you commend them for their bravery in coming forward, no matter what happens regarding their job after that point. If you’re letting them go, encourage them to get help.
Moreover, after explaining the reason they are being let go, perhaps you could remind them that they were looking for a job when they found one with you. And, you might add that the sky may well be the limit when it comes time to get the next one because they’ll be living drug-free.